a worthy opponent

See life as a worthy opponent. There is such a respect in that line. Respect for life. It’s interesting watching myself having the clarity of mind to evaluate my values in live time. What a wild life. What a wild, precious life. That we get to be here thinking about how to live in a more kind, full way. To keep going. To keep learning. It’s wild. I’m so here for it.

I’ve been waking up happy. lol this is a theme I guess. I’ve been listening through the return of the king on audio book and it’s something that I’m starting to do where I’ll listen to it while I’m making supper and then after I eat and get ready for bed. Cause again no cell reception and electricity where I live. So anyways. Listening to it till I fall asleep and then waking up several hours later and its still going. Hahahaha. I’ve had to do a lot of rewinding. Plays into the whole sleep cycles idea. That nebulous space of falling asleep and what my brain retains in that in between and then waking back up and being aware of something like an external voice reading a work of fiction in your camper trailer. It’s great. It’s been fun.

I love finding new way of engaging with my life as new challenges present themselves. I am learning about myself quite a lot these days. (I think that’s definitely coming through in these entries). I started my new job with Cat & Cloud this week. It’s been surreal to be welcomed into something you have hoped was real. Not in like a “this is going to solve all my problems save me” sort of hope this is real. In like a, these folks are leaning into the process of becoming and working it out on a daily basis. It’s incredibly rewarding and I see how it’s shaping the environments they work in and I’m already seeing the way it’s starting to impact me outside of work in positive ways. I got to do a coffee and food tasting yesterday with my rad team leader and review and engage with what we had gone over the day before. It’s so cool to work somewhere where talking about what the company values and the mission and vision lends itself to philosophical discourse and an action plan for how to become the way we desire to be in the world. It’s fucking rad.

The values are the how we do the mission every day. They are all “we” statements. We all own the culture we are creating, which means we are responsible for our part in bringing these dreams into the tangible reality of where we live.

We actively pursue better.

We work together with empathy and intentionality.

We keep it simple.

We share our wins and own our losses.

We protect our culture.

These values when engaged and taken to heart (lived out of) allow us to accomplish what we do, which is inspire connection through creating memorable experiences. (There is discourse around each value and I’m not going to get into that right now). This energy is drawn into a deeper loftier vision of why we do what we do. Which is to create a world in which businesses leave every person they touch in a better place than they found them. Fuck yes. It’s cool, it’s a lot, it’s challenging. It’s different from anything I’ve been apart of, but I don’t think it has to be this way. I think the world can change and we can change it. It doesn’t have to suck. I think a lot of us don’t want what we do for money to suck. We don’t want to feel like we are doing a deal with something gross that feels awful in order to make what we need to make to thrive.

So yeah, anyways, it has been a rad inspiring start. It’s so interesting because I’ve been thinking about the idea of “perfect” the idea of finding the idealistic representation of whatever that is and then just arriving there and it’s all “perfect”. I am realizing that that isn’t what I’m looking for anymore, as deep places in me have started to heal. I’m looking for folks who will engage in the process of becoming and be honest about it. To connect in vulnerability and pursue aliveness. To build trust and go through the process of learning and growing and becoming whole. It’s so much more interesting and rewarding than hiding behind whatever “perfect” is. It’s also just not a shame driven way of engaging with the world. Talk about healing from trauma. I don’t hate myself anymore. Yay!

I’m so much more curious and gentle with myself than I used to be. There’s so much in life that feels overwhelming and I think viewing life as a worthy opponent is part of the thing. It’s a process. We are in the process of living. It’s good. It’s a good thing. You’re doing great. I believe in you. Shit is fucked sometimes and I get that. I’m coming off of a time when that felt like just about the only thing that was true in my reality. I’m so glad that has shifted.