Category Archives: Uncategorized

“I feel everything, yeah I feel it all. I feel it in my bones and in my fucking skull.” I’m feeling here and now. I’m feeling the weight of my past change as the context becomes more deeply clear. I’m so happy to be here. I get this picture of what it means to findContinue reading “stars don’t shine, they burn”

A shotgun series of questions to see if I’m close. Did I live into the dreams that the young bright eyed boy dreamed I might, before he knew about all the malice and greed in the world? Did I learn to connect and care well? Did I create safe places for myself and others toContinue reading “into beauty”

I have a mailing address in California now! I’m finding my way through. I am so happy. It’s been such a wild ride and in no ways a disappointment to pursue things I care deeply about. Sometimes life hurts a lot for a long time. Sometimes it feels like nothing will ever change and allContinue reading “no getting ready, other than grace”

I got my car stuck in my own driveway this morning. lol. It was definitely an “are you kidding me” moment. I tried to dig it out. Actively spun my wheels for awhile. Assessed the situation and then I was like “yeah I should probably use that road side assistance part of my insurance thatContinue reading “(untitled)”

See life as a worthy opponent. There is such a respect in that line. Respect for life. It’s interesting watching myself having the clarity of mind to evaluate my values in live time. What a wild life. What a wild, precious life. That we get to be here thinking about how to live in aContinue reading “a worthy opponent”

i used to wanna be important now I just wanna be alive and without fear you got to persevere I’m stupid happy these days. I went bed last night at like 7:30 because when you live somewhere without electricity and it’s winter time you don’t have a lot to do after dinner anyways. I meanContinue reading “go find it”

I’m so fucking happy. I was driving into Santa Cruz from my new spot and I literally said out loud. You did it! You fucking did it! I moved to California. I got a job at a company I respect. I landed a living situation. I start my job tomorrow. I’m going to look atContinue reading “say yes to life”

Heart orientation is fascinating to me. I’ve longed to be able to trust my heart, but I feel at times my heart has really gotten me into a lot of deeply painful tragic experiences. I’m so curious about this. It’s like this balance exists out in the ether somewhere. A mixture of wisdom and aContinue reading “it takes time to be free (mansions)”

In Harry Potter world there is a character who goes through enslavement and then encounters freedom and then grows to become trusted and dearly loved by the protagonist of the story. There is a scene towards the end of the story where Dobby (the formerly enslaved house elf) is dying. Dobby, who has gone throughContinue reading “to be with friends”

There’s something about rest that is really unique to itself. I’m learning how to find balance in tension. How much to give to certain aspects of my life. What is needed to move through things in a way that brings me closer to the essential aspects of who I am and who I’m growing toContinue reading “something about today”